Old Grudges...

There was a Jew and a Chinese sitting at the bar drinking. All of a sudden the Jew turns and punches the Chinese in the face knocking him off his stool, stunned the Chinese gets up and says, "What the hell was that for?"
The Jew replies, "That was for Pearl Harbor."
The Chinese says, "That was the Japanese, I'm Chinese." The Jew says, "well you have black hair squinted eyes and buckteeth, it's all the same to me." 
The Chinese says "Okay" and sits on his stool and continues drinking. About a half hour later the Chinese turns and punches the Jew in the face knocking him off his stool, the Jew gets up and says, "What the hell was that for?"
The Chinese says "That was for the Titanic." The Jew replies, "The Titanic? That was an Iceberg."
The Chinese says, "Iceberg, Goldberg, Steinberg, it's all the same to me."

Men....

Q. Why do men have broad shoulders and big foreheads?
A. When you ask them a question, they shrug their shoulders and say, "I don't know."
     When you tell them the answer, they slap their foreheads and say, "Ohhhhhh."

Stupidity.....

Sideways.....

FACE - BOOK

Servant....

Hearing a department store clerk address me as "Ma'am," four-year- old Jennifer asked what that meant. "Ma'am is short for madam," I replied. "It's a polite way to address a woman."
Jennifer asked what name Daddy would be called.
 "Sir," I answered.
"Sir ..." she thought for a moment, "that must be short for servant!"

Sardarji buys a computer !!!

REVENGE !!!

 A Bird's Planning
 Zebra - Crossing 

Human Bank   

Revenge Of A Mouse 

The Height Of.....

HEIGHT OF ISOLATION:
Two persons sitting side by side using emails to communicate with each other.

HEIGHT OF CARELESSNESS:
Writing a love mail and doing a ‘Send All.’

HEIGHT OF TIMEPASS:
 A person sending email to himself.

HEIGHT OF FLIRTING:

When your love letter starts with "TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY BE CONCERNED" 

HEIGHT OF HONESTY:

When a pregnant woman gos to watch a movie and buys one and a half tickets.

HEIGHT OF BROWSING:
 You are swimming in the water tank and shout 'F1 F1 F1 ' instead of shouting 'HELP' when you are unable to swim...

HEIGHT OF PATRIOTISM
You are sitting on an English toilet in Indian style.

HEIGHT OF FASHION:

Dhoti with a zip.

HEIGHT OF SECRECY:

Offering blank visiting cards.

HEIGHT OF CRAZINESS:

Getting a blank paper xeroxed.

HEIGHT OF FORGETFULNESS:

Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.

HEIGHT OF STUPIDITY:

A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

HEIGHT OF SUICIDE:

A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.

HEIGHT OF DE-HYDRATION:

A cow giving milk powder.

HEIGHT OF BAD LUCK: 

A vegetarian eating a chicken piece for the first time in his life and dies because of BIRD FLU

HEIGHT OF COURAGE:
A senior student while ragging a junior "I will kiss your wife on your wedding", Junior answers "Thats ok sir....... but i will marry your sister...."

Microsoft....

    A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
    Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position.The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
    "The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.
"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

McDonald ?

Kid : Dad, Can we go to McDonald?"
Dad : Only if you can spell McDonalds.

Kid (Thought for a minute, turned around and said) : Can we go to KFC instead?"

Be A Programmer....

A Boy Got Caught In Class Throwing Paper Airplanes. Teacher Gave Him Punishment To Write 5000 Times "I Will Not Throw Paper Airplanes In Class." And Submit It Tomorrow.
Next Day, He Submitted The Paper Written

#Include
#Include
Void Main( )
{
    Clrscr( );Int N;
    For( N=1 ; N<=5000 ; N++ )
    Printf("I Will Not Throw Paper Airplanes In Class");
    Getch( );
}

Brave Dog !!!

Appointment Letter From Amrika !!!

Santa Singh sent his bio data to America to apply for a post in Microsoft.

A few days later he got this reply:-
"Dear Mr. Singh,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.
Thanks"
Santa Singh jumped with joy on receiving this reply.

He arranged a party and when all the guests had come,
he said "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar Khushi hogee ki mujhay Amrika mein Naukri Mil Gayee hai."
Everyone was delighted. Santa Singh continued, "Ab main aap sab ko apnaa Appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa, par letter English main hai Isliyen saath-saath Hindi main Translate bhee kartaa jaongaa."
" Dear Mr. Singh ----- pyare singh sahab
You do not meet ---- aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement ---- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondence ---- ab letter vetter bhejnay kee zaroorat nahee hai.
No phone call ---- phone vone kee bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained ---- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks ---- aapkaa bahut bahut shukriya" 

Job Interview

While taking the interview...
The Employer: 'How long did you work during your last job.'
Sardarji: '30 years.'
The Employer: 'What's your age?
Sardarji: '20 Years.'
The Employer(with surprise): How it is possible that you are 20 and have a experience of 30 years.
Sardarji: 'Overtime.'