If I Were A Millionaire...

"Take a pencil and paper," the teacher said, "and write an essay with the title 'If I Were a Millionaire' "
Everyone but Little Johnny, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write furiously.
"What's the matter," the teacher asked. "Why don't you begin?"
"I'm waiting for my secretary," he replied

Blondie Taking An Exam

A blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of "yes/no" type questions. 

She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the questions for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet, "Yes" for Heads and "No" for Tails. Within half-an-hour she is all done where as the rest of the class is sweating it out. 

During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. 

The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and says, "What is going on?" 

"I finished the exam in half-an-hour. But I'm rechecking my answers."

Absence...

Father: Why did you get such a low score in that exam?
Son: Absence!
Father: You were absent on the day of the exam?
Son: No but the boy who sits next to me was!