Dictionary For Women...

• Argument: A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realised it as yet.
• Airhead: What a woman becomes intentionally whenpulled over by a policeman.
• Bar-be-que: You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat, and cleaned everything up, but he "made the dinner."
• Blonde Jokes: Jokes that are short so that men can understand them.
• Eternity: The last two minutes of a football match.
• Exercise: To walk up and down the shopping mall and. resting occasionally to make a purchase.
• Grocery List: What you spend half an hour writing and then, forget taking it with you.
• Hair Dresser: Someone who is able to create a style that you are never able to copy again.
• Patience: The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children.
• Waterproof Mascara: Comes off if you cry, shower or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
• Valentine's Day: A day when you have dreams of candle light dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

Genie on a Beach

   A man was walking along the beach at Malibu when he found a bottle. He looked around but saw no one so he opened the bottle.
   A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "For your kindness, I will grant you one wish but only one."
   The man thought for a minute and then said,"I have always wanted to go to Hawaii but was never able to go because I am afraid of flying and ships make me claustrophobic and ill. So, I wish for a bridge to be made from here to Hawaii."
   The genie thought for a long time and said,"No. I don't think I'll be able to do that. Just think of all the work needed with pilings needed to hold up the highway and how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much to ask."
   The man thought for a minute and then told the genie,"There is one other thing that I have always wanted. i would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along? Basically, what makes them tick?"
   The genie considered for a few minutes and then said,"So, do you want two lanes or four to Hawaii?" 

Women Drivers!!

   "I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to the traffic. Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a Mustang driving at 65 miles per hour with her face  up next to her rear view window putting on her eyeliner!

   I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane.

   It scared me so bad that I dropped my electric shaver in my coffee, and spilled all over my cell phone!!"