Monday, January 14, 2013

Questions :P

"What is the colour of a mirror?"

"If you enjoy wasting time, is that time really wasted?"

"If anything is possible, is it possible for anything to be impossible?"

"If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?"

"If you try to fail and succeed, then which have you done?

"Killer Biscuits Wanted For Attempted Murder"


Thursday, June 7, 2012

Dear Whoever..


Happily Ever After

A couple celebrated their 25th Marriage Anniversary. They were famous for not having fought in 25 years.
Guests: Sir, its amazing. How did you make it possible?
Husband: We had been to Texas for honeymoon. We did horse riding.
My wife’s horse was a crazy one. On the way that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over.
She patted the horse’s back & said “This is ur 1st time”
After a while it happend again.
She said “this is ur 2nd time” & continued.
When the horse dropped her 3rd time, she silently took out a revolver & shot the horse dead!
I shouted: what did u do, you psycho! U killed the poor animal. R u crazy?
She gave me a silent look and said “This is YOUR first time!”
Husband to guestg: “Thats it.. since then we are Happy Ever After…”

Friday, June 1, 2012

From A Mother With Love

Dear Child,
I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home.
Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.
I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.
Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home.
They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.
Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom.
Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.
PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.

Try Answering This...

Kids can sometimes ask the toughest questions.
Son: Father, Can I ask you a question?
Father: Ok ask.
Son: When a doctor doctors a doctor, does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored or does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor.
Father: !!!??????!!!

3 is equal to 4

Theorem: 3 = 4
Proof:

Suppose:
a + b = c

This can also be written as:
4a - 3a + 4b - 3b = 4c - 3c

After reorganizing:
4a + 4b - 4c = 3a + 3b - 3c

Take the constants out of the brackets:
4 * (a+b-c) = 3 * (a+b-c)

Remove the same term left and right:
4 = 3

Monday, May 28, 2012

Who Does What

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, ‘You should do it because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, ‘You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.’
Wife replies, ‘No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.’
Husband replies, ‘I can’t believe that, show me.’
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the Old Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . ‘HEBREWS’

The Printer Problem