Modern Love Letters!

SAMPLE OF A MODERN LOVE LETTER

Dearest Samantha,

   I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since Tuesday, the 17th of August 2001.
  With reference to the meeting held between us on the 17th of August 2001 at 1500 hours, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of no less than three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. 

Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous relationship training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your expense account.

   I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Thanking you in anticipation.

Yours sincerely, Max

MODERN REPLY TO MODERN LOVE LETTER
 Dear Max,
    Please refer to your letter dated today. I am pleased to inform you that I hope to accept your proposal for romance.
   However, you should be informed that there are certain conditions of acceptance. Promotional prospects are to my satisfaction. However, please enlighten me as to your retirement benefits. Gratuity should be generous.
   I also need to be assured that there is sufficient security with regards to this commitment. If there is any chance at all of retrenchment or consequent disinterest on your part, then I should receive monetary compensation according to union standards.
   Due to the nature of my position, I am sure you will agree that an expense account should be arranged for my access in light of the 'VIP'. I shall be entertaining. In addition, housing and transport allowances should be in order and nothing less than a Jaguar is in order.
   Please also note that there should be no moonlighting restrictions placed on myself. If you are still interested in the relationship, please reply on an urgent basis as other prospective lovers have sent indications of interest.
   Please also note that my sister is happily employed.
Yours perhaps, 
Samantha

Student's Life And Their Moments

Most irritating moment : Morning alarms
Most dreadful journey : Way to class
Most lovely time : Meeting your friends
Most tragic news : Test in the first period
Most wonderful news : Teacher is absent
Most relaxing area : Back Benchers
Most funny moment : Teacher cracks a joke and nobody laughs.

Sardarji In A Store

Sardar starts shouting in a store..."Where is my free gift with this oil?"
Shopkeeper: "There is nothing free with this oil."
Sardar: "It says CHOLESTEROL FREE"

Java Interview Attended By A Sardar

Q. Explain 2-tier and 3-tier architecture?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.

Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server? Which methodology will follow?
A. Send it through courier.

Q. Can I modify an object in COBRA?
A. As you wish, I do not have any objections.

Managed Care CEO Asked for Charity

The Chairman of a large charity noted that a wealthy CEO of a major care company had never given him a donation. He called on the CEO in an attempt to persuade him to mend his ways.
"Our reasearch shows that you made a profit of over $600,000 last year, and yet you have not given a dime to any community charities! What do you want to say for yourself?"
The CEO replied, "Did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income? Do you know about my brother, the disabled veteran, who is build and in a wheelchair? Do you know about my sister, whose husband died in a traffic accident, leaving her penniless with 3 children?"
Sheepishily, the charity solicitor admitted that he had no knowledge of any of this.
"Well, since I don't give any money to them," he continued, "Then why should I give any to you?"

TOUGH QUESTIONS

QUESTION 1
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion? 


QUESTION 2
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates.
Candidate A -
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two Mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate B -
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
Candidate C -
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife. 
Who would you vote for?
.
.
.
.
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Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt. 
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler! 


For the abortion question, if you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.


DON'T JUDGE A PERSON JUST LIKE THAT!!!

Animal's Photo Shoot...

General Equations And Statistics!!

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Einstein!!!

Einstein teasing today's scientists.....:P

Buy A New Mac???

I was just having a conversation with someone who is about to buy a Mac.
I was against it and an argument started.
I said there were too few people supporting the Mac.
He responded, "When was the last time you heard of a virus on a Mac?"
And I said "See, even people who write viruses don't support Macs."