Love Letter By A Mathematician

De-Morgan's Law,
Binomial Avenue,
United States Of Matrices.


My Dear Love,
Yesterday I was passing  by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane. There I saw you with your cute face, conical nose, and spherical eyes, standing there in your triangular garden. before seeing you, my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.
My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relations with me. The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise  that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity.
You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry fo my life resolves around your acute personality. My love, if you do not meet me at the Parabola Restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10.
With love from higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.


Your ever loving,
An Unknown Function  

Answer them...

• Why does someone believe that there are 4 million stars out there, but check when someone tells them that the paint is wet?
• What is the speed of darkness?
• If the temperature outside is zero today and it is said that it is going to be twice as cold tomorrow, what will be the temperature tomorrow?
• Why do people point to their wrists when asking for time but don't point to their bum when asking for where the bathroom is?
• If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
• If corn oil is made from corn, vegetable oil from vegetable then what is baby oil made from?
• If electricity comes from electrons, then do morality come from morons?
• Why do the Alphabet Song and twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune??
• Stop singing and read on...
• Why does Goofy stand erect and Pluto is always on his fours? Both are dogs..!!
• Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look down?

Dictionary For Women...

• Argument: A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realised it as yet.
• Airhead: What a woman becomes intentionally whenpulled over by a policeman.
• Bar-be-que: You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat, and cleaned everything up, but he "made the dinner."
• Blonde Jokes: Jokes that are short so that men can understand them.
• Eternity: The last two minutes of a football match.
• Exercise: To walk up and down the shopping mall and. resting occasionally to make a purchase.
• Grocery List: What you spend half an hour writing and then, forget taking it with you.
• Hair Dresser: Someone who is able to create a style that you are never able to copy again.
• Patience: The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children.
• Waterproof Mascara: Comes off if you cry, shower or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
• Valentine's Day: A day when you have dreams of candle light dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

Men at Work...

Desperate Man

Mike walked into a post office just before Valentine's day, he couldn't help noticing a middle-aged, balding man standing in a corner sticking "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them.  Then the man got out a bottle of Channel perfume from his pocket and started spraying scent over the envelopes.

By now Mike's curiosity had got the better of him, and so I asked the man why he was sending all those cards.  The man replied, "I'm sending out 500 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asked Mike.

"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replied.

Seniors with computers....

Genie on a Beach

   A man was walking along the beach at Malibu when he found a bottle. He looked around but saw no one so he opened the bottle.
   A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "For your kindness, I will grant you one wish but only one."
   The man thought for a minute and then said,"I have always wanted to go to Hawaii but was never able to go because I am afraid of flying and ships make me claustrophobic and ill. So, I wish for a bridge to be made from here to Hawaii."
   The genie thought for a long time and said,"No. I don't think I'll be able to do that. Just think of all the work needed with pilings needed to hold up the highway and how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much to ask."
   The man thought for a minute and then told the genie,"There is one other thing that I have always wanted. i would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along? Basically, what makes them tick?"
   The genie considered for a few minutes and then said,"So, do you want two lanes or four to Hawaii?" 

The Wisdom Of Supermodels...

• ON POVERTY: "Everyone should have atleast enough money to get a plastic surgery."--Beverly Johnson
• ON PRIORITIES: "I would rather exercise than read a newspaper."--Kim Alexis
• ON INNER STRENGTH: "I love the confidence that makeup gives me."--Tyra Banks
• ON EPIPHANY: "I just found out that I'm one inch taller than I am."--Christie Brinkley
• ON THE BASICS: "It's very important to have the right clothing to exercise in. If you throw on an old T-shirt or sweats, it's not inspiring for your workout."--Cheryl Tiegs
• ON PARADOX: "Sometimes I get lonely, but it's nice to be alone."--Tatjana Patitz
• ON INSTINCT: "If I'm making a movie and get hungry, I call time-out and eat some crackers."--Carol Alt
• ON OCCUPATIONAL HAZARDS:"I tried on 250 bathing suits in one afternoon and ended up having little scabs up and down my thighs, probably from some of those with sequins all over them."--Cindy Crawford
• ON ECONOMICS:"I don't even wake up for less than $10,000 a day."--Lenda Evangelista
• ON MOTIVATION:"It was kind of boring for me to have to eat. I would know that I had to and I would."--Kate Moss
• ON VERSATILITY:"I can do anything you want me to do as long as I do not have to speak" --Lenda Evangelista

Yahan Nahane Mana Hai....

Police: Madam, yahan nahana mana hai.
Lady: Jab main kapde uttaar rahi thi, tab batana nahi tha?
Police: Yahan nahana mana hai, kapde utaarna nahi.

Witty Waiter...

Customer: Waiter, There's a fly in my soup.
Waiter: That's alright sir, he won't drink much..